Simply stunning! Liz xx

It's true, the idea of the perfect, fated romantic match has been with us since the days of the Greek myths, though of course Hollywood has helped to promote the idea in more recent times. And you're right, perfection is not only impossible, it would be boring, as there would be no "rough edges" in the relationship to create conflict, which in turn brings wisdom and growth. But on the subject of fate, I've finally got to grips with the idea of the north and south nodes, and how they reveal the tasks we have taken on in this life. Having checked it against the charts of friends, it's uncannily accurate. Maybe you could talk about the nodes in one of your shows, Steve, I'm sure people would be interested.

It certainly takes the pressure off if you're not expecting anyone to be 'the one' or if you're not trying to be 'the one'. It's just setting yourself up for disappointment isn't it? Much better if we can all just be ourselves, imperfections and all - and carry on trying our best and having fun! And then having the option to leave a relationship when it doesn't work anymore... Most relationship have a time and a place, and should not necessarily last forever.

Elegantly put Steve! I don't get this soulmates stuff myself, but each to their own. And lovely that you quoted the wonderful Liz Greene! :)

my take on "partner-ships" is that a significant other in your life should be the icing on the cake, not the whole cake, or filling in the middle - the topping. Someone else can't make your life for you, and to be so dependant on someone else - where would that leave you if they weren't around?? I too use the "oxygen in the plane" analogy when encouraging my clients to look after themselves more, and I agree with the unconditional love comments too - but wisdom and growth can only come about if people want to grow and change. To the lady who yearns for love and some support in her life, try this..... write down each day what support you do get - be it from neighbours, your children, friends - anyone. You may be suprised at the amount, even the little things that people do for you, and your family. The little things build into bigger things. I too would like an a n other in my life, but they have to be the right person for me... and I now realise that each person I come across who isn't right, is a lesson to be had but also makes it clearer what I do want. The last person wasn't willing to communicate his thoughts and feelings, even said he didn't know if he could change - or even wanted to - well - no use to me then, where's the growth and compromise in that! So... my thought is look after and take care of yourself, first and formost - be kind to you, put love out there, be happy with what you have and where you are now - because all is as it should be (not easy at times), but when you and the time is right... is when it all happens. I feel "my bloke" is getting closer - he's just not here quite yet. I also feel that the way things have changed in my life (having to rebuild my business) means that it will be more balanced, with more secure foundations, and that makes me feel good - it all feels good and right. It's like it is all slotting into place, but in it's own sweet time - all is as it's meant to be! taken a long time to understand and accept that. We just have to learn to go with the flow and be patient! I've read a brilliant book this year, helped me lots - The Tao of Pooh and the Te of Piglet. Love and hugs to all Sx

O.k. everyone out there lol I rest my case, I no longer shall be searching for my souls other haif but focussing on making a differnce in society from my own life experiences! Maybe its all a myth but you can't help and wonder hey! The heart wants what the heart wants lol. But in close I'm loving the quote shall try and practise it though......:) Have a good weekend everybody, you may just bump into your other haif.!... well a girl can only hope lol xoxoxo

Well everybody I'm that lady yearning for that soulmate to be by my side, but believe me I have been single for nearly six years due to my own personal growth & life lessons. I am growing every single moment and I contunie to be hungry for that growth as I am evloving at very high speed..... Maybe I will & maybe I won't settle down again. But this much is for sure I will NOT settle for second best I know what I want from a mate( & yes compromise from both ends is a must) & if It doesn't happen for me then that is part of my destiny in this life spam & I will accept this ,as I love myself truly madly & deeply & would never let myself down because I know who I am, & what I want & where I am going with my work here on earth. I am a very Independent soul and I am fortunate enough to have some very good friends as my life line. But I will of course all ways wonder we are after all put on earth to Love one another & to be loved in all its grantest forms. Afterall the biggest gift of all is life itself, then everything else follows on the journey.......

Ah this is so funny, Steve! I recently had a tarot reading where I was advised that I'd settled for security rather than continuing to search for my soul mate. All this time (22 yrs), I thought I'd been with the right person... But after thinking about it - I know I'm with the right person (for however long it lasts). The adjustments that I have to make are internal not ridding myself of external factors... the internal stuff will still be there. M

Are we confusing personality with soul? Your personality is not your soul, has nothing to do with it really. Come to that, what exactly do we mean by soul? I asked around and most agreed it was the spiritual part of us. Spirit is undifferentiated, uncontainable, nebulous - so does it even exist, this individual soul? Lots of questions here, and I've spent countless years seeking answers. I know in myself now that what we identify with as being 'really us' is simply personality. If something happened to me and my personality was lost (coma) or changed in some way, I would still be me in essence because of the physical part of me, but perhaps my thoughts would be different, and my emotions could change dramatically. Even just living life and maturing and asking and answering questions and delving into philosophy and stretching by meditating will have a profound effect on who I am. So, even if we found our so-called soul mate, (personality-wise), simply by evolving we'd probably grow away from them or them from us. It's safer to seek what you perceive as missing inside ourselves. It's all there. None of us in incomplete. We are all complete and just have to develop what appeals to us. So if we meet someone who we like or admire, we can choose to make the most of those qualities in ourselves. It's all there waiting patiently for us to come to it. This is the unconditional part of love, in ourselves. Whatever we seek is right there within us. How wonderful is that!

Interesting! My take on soul mates, twin flames etc are that they are your soul mate or whatever when you're between incarnations, so they are the ones that in this life become your biggest teachers, the ones who at soul level, love you the most and so become your worst experiences here on earth. so you are most likely to find that your soul mates (there can be several) in this life are the domineering mother, the abusive father/husband etc. They play the hardest role, to give you the best life experience. After all we don't want to have to keep repeating the same old, same old, do we? Apparently there is a book somewhere called "Soulmates, and how to avoid them..."M

Thank you, Steve, for saying this! This particular bit of BS is so pernicious and harmful. Not to mention a handy excuse to avoid making an actual commitment . . . diane~

I very much like to be let in on bits of wisdom that arise out of your unique position. You are so right. Not only is it impossible to find the "perfect" partner, looking is a terrible waste of time. I know too many middle aged singles who have spent years on the fence of perfection. I have a Libra friend who recently sacrificed his long time love (this was one of those "look alike" couples) to maintain his place on said fence. I was thinking Saturn now in Libra might have an affect. To me a life partner helps one live up to ones best possible self, which is not easy.

like they say; if you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with

I heard once and ted to believe that we have several soul mates. It may not be romantic. It maybe energetic. It may even be someone who pushes those buttons! Recently it came to me that I have often chosen to be alone, as opposed to feeling I had been thwarted by life. I believe I tend to need all my energy, or much of it, just to focus on balance, authenticity, integrity... just being me and doing the things I came here to do. an astrologer told me once that the majority of my relationships are spiritual, meaning, come from a spiritual base, and that it was up to me to be more honest about that. Today I know that I stand for many aspects of who we are as human beings that don't fit into those traditional boxes. At times I've gone round and round about where exactly do I fit???. to now settle with the basis of my relationships is spiritual is quite freeing. I don't have to fit into those little boxes that weren't me anyway. Amen, and as Clarisa Pincola Estes' grandmother also said "Amen, and a little woman!"

Soul mates/Twin Flames? Well, I believe they are there, possibly, in a given life time, but I don't feel for one moment we should wait for them to turn up. Loads of my readings are about relationships, soul mate, the 'One' etc. The idea is all relatively recent and may be because culturally we have become so dependent on 'the other half'? I do believe that extraordinary attraction happens between two people on occasion and that this suggests there is something to sort out and resolve if possible. But as I am always saying to my clients, a relationship is two people and if there's only one person trying to make it work and do the growing thing that lies between them, then it's basically not going to work. At some point it is important to accept that either the two of you are working on that joint challenge, or if it's only one making the effort, then the answer is going to be to walk away, and probably after two years rather than ten, rather than staying to be a doormat. Sacrificing yourself to someone else isn't wrong, but it's best to be aware that it is what you're doing and not depend on 'getting your way in the end'. We cannot change others, only ourselves. I just feel that these specially labelled relationships carry a more powerful attraction to bring two people together for their development. Often the people involved are aware of this, but it doesn't mean it's going to be easy. It may well be exceptionally fulfilling if they do find their way together. Often I believe it's to do with past-life encounters from the same 'soul group' hence the recognition. I, with several of you above, agree that you cannot expect someone else to come into your life to make you happy, it's important to find your own way, to be able to engage with life, alone, in a fulfilling way. Then, as said above I believe again: if someone wonderful comes into your life and it is truly a beautiful thing between you, then be incredibly grateful and enjoy the icing on the cake. Back to astrology, and I don't remember the author, but rather cool words that said that life isn't about being happy, it's about growing. I don't see why we can't have both, and my experience says that if I'm on track with the growing bit I'm far happier anyway. I've a lot of Libra in my chart and relationships have certainly brought me my hardest lessons. I used to be a hopeless romantic. Libra isn't about balance and harmony, peace and beauty so much as they need for, or striving for it. Well, that's how I see it. Steve's big astrologer chief here!!! and we continue to have so much to thank you for. Blessings x Ella

Wow, talk about opening a can of worms!!! Well luckily I couldn't give a toss who thinks it's BS, I can only go by my own experiences & what my soul tells me to be true. I have the most incredible soul relationship (platonic) with someone far away, that has changed my life for the better in ways I can't articulate here, but I could write a film about it, the events have been so miraculous & magical. It has taught me my lesson about unconditional love & spiritual growth & no one can take that away from me. Time & distance are an illusion when souls are reunited. These relationships exist in all forms. I will reiterate what I said yesterday, soul connections have nothing to do with 'perfection' they are to do with growth. You can only be truly happy in any relationship when you are fully whole yourself & not looking to be completed. Looking for someone to 'complete you' is asking for trouble. The books of Dr Brian Weiss are fab for those who are interested. How can I say to people, believe in miracles & be sure that there is a bigger plan for the world & all who reside there & NOT believe in soul connections? It actually doesn't matter who believes & who doesn't, they do exist & as much as I would love to change the mind of non believers, it's really not my place to! We're all experiencing them all the time & many of them are very painful indeed. I'm not in a relationship right now, but I remain ever optimistic that the appropriate man will find his way in my direction now that I know I deserve to be happy! BTW sounds like a few of you could do with a glass of wine... cheers guys!!! Love, Sarah xx

Wow, What some very interesting facts, points of view and a full on blog disscussion on one of my favourite subjects.(Yes from that lady again!) After reading everyone's point of view today there is of course a common theme in everyones point of view that being....Love thyself completely & do not come to think that you will be saved by your soul/twin mate as we can only be saved by our own self worth, thoughts, actions & deeds, life lessons, kama etc(after which point we can possibly meet our match!) We all of course contunie to strive to be the best possible individuals in society among our peers, Children,in all our relationships etc. I have come to realise that I am on one hell of a Life journey where destiny of course has other plans for me. (I call it a date with destiny!) I know deeply I shall be lead to something big & profound to which no doubt WILL have a very poistive outcome not just for me but for society at large! I contunie on that journey with Much Love, laughter, Morals, & integrity & what ever it brings to my life. I am open & await to embrace the next life chapter, & where of course I end up......Thank you all for your insight, knowelge, & wealth of experience on a topic that really does have alot of food for thought!.......xox (I'm glad I mentioned soulmates, soulmates we love you! bravo! haha) :-))

It's interesting to see how different people have a take on this "love" thing. However, I would just like to clear one misconception up - unconditional love - this is something you get from animals, children and parents (although some parents don't know how to give love, but that's another matter). This is the kind of love you get or give to someone because you know whatever else is going on, there is love between you and you want the best for them. It is not the kind of love you have with a lover which has another set of vocabulary, lust, friendship, curiosity, etc. Unconditional love must NEVER be confused with romantic love, which, by its very nature IS conditional. As Ella quite rightly points out, if you're not facing the same direction with the same goals in mind, you're wasting your time and it's best to quit. Of course, there is a more productive way of having a fulfilling life with or without a n other, get a hobby, do something you want to do, that interest you and makes you smile. Plant a pot of flowers or veg, bake a loaf, paint a picture. M xx

Funny (strange) this morning I picked an Osho tarot card to give me an insight on how I was feeling. I recently split up with my boyfriend and am finding it hard to let go. The card I picked was 'The Dream' the picture is of a girl in a simple dress is looking towards a vision of lovers embracing. The dream is at source humanity's longing to be back in the womb, to feel that close relationship and protectiveness where all needs are met. 'We come into this world alone, and we will leave alone' The search for that relationship again is what drives most of us. The illusion that if we can find our soul mate all our troubles will be over and we'll be happy is a persistant one we grasp onto even in the face of reality. Our soul mate might not be a person, it could be money or power or fame. We are all hiding from a deep sense of loneliness. So, if one can summon the courage to face that loneliness/aloneness and become friendly with it, what a blessing.

Thanks Steve for writing this piece - i passed it around including to my daughters. I hope they can hear it like i never did until recently.

I believe there are people who are more appropriate and less appropriate for us, depending on where we are in our lives. But soul mates, nah. Still... I find this fascinating. The significant people in my life, I found out recently, have all had major planets conjunct or opposite my natal Saturn. All. Statisticians, what are the chances of this?

To the post of above of 02:03 Wow...Reading that took my breath away especially your last sentence beacuse that is where I am in life on my own as I summon the courage to face loneliness/oneness & make it my best friend (what a blessing indeed) as I currently am after yesterdays full on disscussion.! I continue to follow the signs towards my destiny to make my mark on the world.....! Sarah, (post 19:16) yes you do deserve to be happy & you WILL as you said to me keep trusting & it will happen & keep praying as Its all about timing & your personal growth & then when you least expect it, he will walk into your life & the rest of the past is truly history. I wish you every happiness, success, & much love in your coming future & soulmate!....(That spiritual Lady & the single mum xoxo)

Bless you darlin'!!! ^^^ The same to YOU lovely lady, tenfold & many thanks! Sending love & for ALL of our dreams to come true. Kind of wish we could all have a picnic or something... haha. Sarah xx

All of the above comments bring to mind a couple of sage quotes. "You are always on your own, but you are never alone," and, "No man is your enemy and no man is your friend, all men are your teachers." Cannot for the life of me remember who said them!!